孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本

孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本（精选8篇）

篇1：孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本

焦仲卿johnny(j for short)刘兰芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)刘母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)强盗burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕

(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!译：我才不怕你呢！

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom!my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighborhood.she is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.all this i do not care.i only want her to be tenderer than me.but she is not!having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)my god!who can help me?(下)译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？ act1 第一幕

(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)jm(拄拐棍上):i can!(对门内)lunch!lunch!where are you? l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here!what’s up，mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but……

jm:never interrupt me!l:never interrupt me!since i married your son, that terrible johnny, i have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing.i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……

jm: but all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son.i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)act2(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)l: mum, i’m back!

lm: you are back?why? what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l: but, mum…… lm: never interrupt me!l: mum, i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜): nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said, “if your daughter haven’t been married, i really really want to marry her!” now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(惊愕): what? the mayor’s son? the most famous playboy in the neighborhood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(边走边道): lunch!lunch!where are my socks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh, i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上): where’s my breakfast? where’s lunch? hasn’t she got up yet? j: mum, can’t you remember? lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻): well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is useless.lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!j(立正敬礼): yes madam!act4(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)a: hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)b: and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)c: if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)ab&c: give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)a: what bad luck!this guy is broken!b: if we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!c: i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liu lanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding!a&b: good idea!j(惊讶): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!ab&c: why? a pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!j: but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you.you take the money and i take the bride.b: have you got any experience? j: no.but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(j和三强盗跃至台中)abc&j: hey you!stop and listen to us!a: the road is built by me!b: and i planted one tree.c: if you want to go by this street---j: give us all your money!(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)l(惊喜万分): johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)j(火冒三丈): how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you? l(哭状): i hurt a lot!j: don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)

篇2：孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本

lm:you are back?why?what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l:but,mum……

lm:never interrupt me!l:mum,i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜):nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!where are mysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围

裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?

j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!

jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless.lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back!j(立正敬礼):yes madam!act4(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)a:hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)ab&c:give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):is 1mao enough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)a:what bad luck!this guy is broken!

3-3-b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding!a&b:good idea!j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!

ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!j:but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!

篇3：孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本

更为突出的困难,是由于财政落后,基础条件较差,教学资源极度短缺,这几个县的大班额现象十分突出。给以促进每个学生的个性发展首要任务的英语课堂教学改革带来相当大的困难。以彭水县为例,位于县城的汉葭镇中学初一年级20个教学班,共计1690余人,平均每班80余人,每一个英语教师担任两个班级的教学,涉及学生160余人。其余的保家中学、县民族中学、郁山中学、桑柘中学等80多人、90余人甚至上百人的班级比比皆是,调查显示,其余几个县的情况也大体如此。

大班额现象直接限制了师生交流的频率,减少了学生在课堂上表达的机会,不利于教师及时把握每个学生的情况,很容易造成学生间的两极分化。许多英语教师每天埋头于改作业、抽背诵,成了“改作业的机器人”,“单词验收机”。根本无瑕顾及其它,更不用说提高课堂教学质量了。

基于以上原因,如何提高这些民族地区大班额的英语教学质量呢?笔者多年来一直担任超过80人的班级的英语教学工作,在实践中摸索出一些行之有效的教学方法,在新课程改革的过程中,我又结合教学实践进行了一些探索。

一、搞好小组划分,落实分组学习任务,形成学生传帮带机制

针对初中学生基础参差不齐的特点,我将学生按优中差搭配,每8人分一组,实行分组教学法。在课堂上以各种形式的竞赛作为催化剂,让各个小组比学习、比纪律,既激起了他们高涨的学习兴趣,又维持了良好的课堂秩序。在每个小组中,我还组织学生根据学习进展情况定期竞选组长,主要负责全组学习各个方面的工作,如组织背诵、听写单词、讨论、交流、记录、汇报、检查作业等。课堂上组长还可充当“小老师”,帮助教师指导组员改错,为他们讲解一些简单的问题。这种学习方式为每一位学生提供了大量的发言机会,得以面对面地与同伴进行交流,学生能对照自己的练习情况或纠正别人、或改进自己的解法,表现突出者,还能竞选上组长。而教师可在各小组间巡回指导提示,特别是可以有针对性的进行差生辅导,或加入某个小组与学生一起讨论探究。这样既提高了学生学习的成就感,老师还可以了解到很多苗族土家族学生的发音情况,又培养了学生的自信心,大大调动了学习英语的积极性。同时也使得教师及时准确地了解所有学生对知识掌握的程度,得以及时调整教学策略,从而弥补了大班额教学的局限性。

二、根据学生基础情况,搞好分层教学

在课堂上检查学生的接受情况时,我先分层检查优生和中等生的掌握情况,此时让落后生认真倾听别人的读法并与自己的对照,以检查自己的发音等是否正确,而对话课则让落后生充分开口表达,优生和中等生加以补充、修正,这样学生的拘束感要减轻许多。我的作业也分了几个层次,优生可以完成写作、编对话等任务,落后生重点搞好朗读过关,读的同时可以让小老师帮助纠正。这样安排,既照顾了优生的提高需求,同时也使得落后生有展示自己的机会,生生之间互相体谅,共同进步。

三、组织好学生自学,鼓励学生加强探究、合作和交流

由于教学时要照顾到大多数学生,因此对于部分优生来说,他们往往会觉得教学进度太慢,索然无味,所以我经常鼓励他们在掌握好所学知识基础上,利用课余时间或练习课自学相关知识,比如看英语小电影、看英语动画、听简单的英语新闻等。为了给他们营造一个宽松的学习环境,我允许这部分学生在课堂上不听课,或在教室后面自己学习提高内容,或到办公室分组对话、交流。课后我再针对他们不理解的知识点予以指导,以培养他们良好的自学习惯和质疑能力,掌握学习的方法。

四、让学生充分展示自己

对于一些方便学生朗读的新课文,我经常会分批请他们提前预习,然后充当小老师朗读、讲解其他学生听。学生领读、讲解时,教师只是以学生的身份参与讨论,让学生用自己的语言交流、合作、学习。出乎意料的是,这种方式大受学生欢迎,他们离开了束缚已久的座位走上另一个广阔的舞台——讲台,个个积极准备,自信满满,听课的学生也学得认真,还积极争取下次讲课的机会。实践证明,生生交流学习丝毫不亚于教师讲课的效果,他们往往在互教互学中自得其乐,既可锻炼他们的口头表达能力,又利于学生语音校正,同时培养了他们提前预习的好习惯。

五、开展丰富多彩的活动,激发学生兴趣

为了给学生创造更多的学习机会,以补充和延伸课堂教学,我还利用英语对话课和课余时间组织了丰富多彩的交流活动,形式以“English corner”、“English club”等为主。在“English corner”中,学生完全自由地参与对话,教师不以任何形式参与;在“English club”中,学生自由结对,自由组织活动,教师也不参与,充分发挥学生的积极性,既巩固了所学的数学知识,又开阔了学生的视野,同时体会到英语学习的乐趣,极大的提高了学生学习英语的兴趣。

六、改变“一言堂”教学模式,拓宽学生发挥的空间

篇4：英语老师的搞笑语录

◎我们当老师的容易吗？为了你们我每天连15个小时的睡眠时间都不能保证！

◎我经常和我的同事讲，要想开心就来听我上课，绝对能陶冶你的情操，净化你的灵魂，提升你的境界；要想闹心就去看我的学生写的作文，肯定能让你产生强烈的自卑感。

◎晚上挑灯夜战，白天瞌睡打盹，对于你们这种“卖了儿子招女婿”的做法我很难理解！

◎上我的课时，眨眼的时间间隔不要太长，不然的话我会以为你是在睡觉。

◎上课有睡意的时候要尽量克制，如果坚持不住的话，也必须保证睡觉的姿势是正确的——身体上部和课桌面成90°角，最好能达到“硬挺头颅永不倒，纵然嘴角水滔滔”的境界。

◎失败不一定是成功之母，如果不吸取教训好好总结，失败有可能会成为成功的奶奶，也有可能你的失败会从此得上不育症，永远也生不出成功。

◎你们再看这个单词最后一眼吧，因为这属于千年等一回的那一类，见过这一面有可能就和它永别了，千万别花时间记这种单词，很不实惠。

◎通过词根词缀记单词特高效，往往可以达到一箭双雕的效果，如果那只雕怀孕了的话，还会有意外的收获。

◎大声喊英语能让一个人的心态变得更加的彪悍，在我还是男孩的时候，我腼腆得就像羞答答的玫瑰，在课堂上站起来回答个问题都紧张得要死。但现在昵，我去××主任办公室的心情，就像上厕所一样轻松。

◎我就纳闷了，同样是我×××的学生，这作文的差距咋就这么大呢？有的人是“思路如泉涌，下笔如有神”，而有的人则是“小脑一阵抽搐，大脑一片空白”，啥玩意儿都想不起来！

◎我写的句子，含金量高，打击面广，杀伤力强，背我写的句子绝对能达到以一当十、事半功倍的效果，如能滚瓜烂熟脱口而出，即便考试时大脑一片空白，用小脑也能把题目搞定！

◎学英语―定要大胆地喊出来，发音不好也没关系，反正痛苦的又不是你。◎早上最好能5点钟就起来读英语，如果实在起不来，我可以给你们介绍一种屡试不爽的方法——每晚睡觉前喝两大杯水。当然，睡在上铺的同学使用此方法时需谨慎。◎坐在第一排的学生真幸福，你们不仅能第一时间听到我的声音，还可以经常吸些粉笔灰补补钙。◎农村有句土话叫“你一撅屁股我就知道你要拉什么屎”，说这话的人肯定是在吹牛。但我敢说“你一张嘴我就知道你发什么音”，因为你口型如果不对，发音就不可能标准！◎这种作文如果没得满分，那只有两种可能，要么阅卷老师嫉妒你，要么他误以为你抄袭了范文！◎我现在擦黑板，你们也别闲着，可以顺便欣赏一下我美丽的背影！

◎笔记记那么整齐干什么呀，我在黑板上怎么画你们在笔记本上就怎么画，下课后，看看自己凌乱的笔记，想想××老师清晰的思路，基本上这辈子也就忘不了了。

◎今天考最后一场了，大家可千万别有什么想法，免得一失足成千古恨，搞得晚节不保，我的习惯是只下雨不打雷，―旦发现你有小动作，我会默默地记下你的名字，以备秋后算账，别以为平时和你们关系都不错，我这人最大的优点就是关键时刻能够做到大义灭亲！

◎父亲的希望永远寄托在下一代，但下一代究竟是哪一代呢？应该是你们，因为你们还年轻，有责任，也还有机会去改变自己和家族的命运，将来我不会对我的孩子说“我就靠你了”，我会底气十足地告诉他“你老爸非常牛，你也应该非常牛”！

篇5：英语搞笑剧本改编

旁白：最近一首《时间都去哪了》可谓是红遍中国的大江南北啊，其主要原因呢，肯定与其歌词所包含的重大教育意义有关，所以因曾经拍摄电影而名噪一时的国际著名导演张某某正在策划将歌曲改编成同名电影。

A：大家好，想必你们一定看过吧，不错，我就是这部戏的导演张某某，（鼓掌）可以了可以了。。

B：吃了吗，我尊敬的导演！大家上午好！感谢大家来参与我们的选拔，我们这次将会选出一些优秀的富有幽默感的演员来参与我们最新电影的拍摄，谁将会成为今天的幸运儿呢，是你，是你，还是你？呵呵，让我们拭目以待！

A：（害羞状）亲，过来坐吧~ A：（尴尬地笑了笑）哼哼，有请第一位面试者。

C：（风情万种，妖娆妩媚地走进来，给观众一个飞吻）哦，我亲爱的最爱的可爱的编剧，最帅气的王子殿下，我这个“性感女神”粉墨登场了！每个人一定都认识我，我姓黄名花菜，家住合肥市，二十岁还没定过亲。

B：黄花菜？的确很符合你无与伦比的气质，你父母真是足够了解你啊。

C：哦，真的吗，我也这么觉得呢！我知道我很美，你又那么帅，我们两真的是郎才女貌啊，如果我们在一起。。

B：（呕吐状后正色道）我谢谢你全家，我不是同性恋！亲爱的，展示一下你的才艺吧。

C：我需要你的帮助。二人开始跳舞。

B：（终于忍不住）你有完没完！（随即被C强吻后晕过去。）A：（气愤状）我去你大爷!(将C踢下场，看着B开始犯花痴）哦，怎么会有这么帅的人，看得我的心小鹿乱撞，我应该给他一个人工呼吸吗？

B：（突然惊醒）你，你做什么！

A：没什么没什么，你看今天的天空多蓝啊。B：额。。那就有请下一位！

D：大家好，人家天下无敌霹雳美少女是柔柔啦~（转个圈，作公主半蹲装，并开始跳舞。）

A：（不耐烦)行了行了。。（见没有反应）够了！

B：哇哦，好可爱的一个萌妹子，你给我们带来什么样的才艺展示呢？

D：嗯，今天呢，我为大家带来一首歌，叫《好一朵美丽的茉莉花》这是我唱给你听的，亲爱的王子。

A：这位小姐，时间有限，不要做跟表演无关的事。

A：（忍无可忍）够了！你唱的跟猫叫一样，听了晚上都要做噩梦，谁给你勇气站在这的！简直就在浪费我们的时间。

D：不，亲爱的编剧，不是这样的!B：哦，亲爱的，你的表现的确是很特别啊，不过很可惜，是特别的糟糕，你实在是浪费了你美丽的外表，我们要的是实力派的演员，而不是你这种花瓶。

D：实话告诉你，其实人家不在乎能不能成一名演员，人家在乎的是你啊，我最最亲爱的，能和你在一起才是最重要的，我敢打赌，只要我们在一起了，我们的宝宝一定会是全天下最美丽聪明的。。

A：我了个去！这位小姐，我们今天是场演员海选，不是你的相亲派对，我想你可能来错地方了！给我滚出去，别在这丢人现眼了！

B：你知道她是我的女人！

A：去你大爷的女人，你赶紧给我滚！D:(恨恨地走出去)A：看样子你很吃香啊，谁都为你而来，不论是女人，还是男人。B：呵呵，我从来没想过会是这样。

A：下一位，可不可以来个正常人，我快hold不住了。E：东风不来，三月的柳絮不飞，你的心如小小的寂寞的城，跫音不响，三月的春帷不揭，你的心如小小的窗扉紧闭。

A：请自我介绍一下。E：关于我的名字嘛。。等等，你知道《忐忑》吗？（A摇头，B点头）额。。没关系，那《The fox》呢？（A还是摇头，B点头）或者《万万没想到》？（A还是摇头，B还是点头，E走上前牵起B的手想要亲吻）知音啊知音，我真是太荣幸认识你了！我就知道你懂我！

A：（拍开E的手）你放开他!E：你居然连这些当代流行艺术都不知道，凭什么坐在这！A：你、、、你、、、你、、、E：好吧好吧，这些都不重要，你可以不知道它们，但你一定得知道我啊，将会赶上杨幂刘诗诗成为中国影坛最红的女星——赵彤！

A：我不在乎你以后会怎么样，我只想知道，你现在能带给我们什么。

E：这个好办！（转向B）帅哥，我需要你的帮助。BE开始跳舞。

A：你在干什么，我受不了了，你可以走了！（推了E一把，拉回B）

E：你这么粗鲁，你爸妈知道嘛？

A：我的天呐，我真的受不了了，怎么找一个优秀的演员那么难，这是天要亡我啊！你们三个，进来！

C：编剧，你喜欢我的舞蹈对不对？ D：编剧，你喜欢我的歌声对吗？ E：编剧，你喜欢我的表演是不是啊？ CDE：我们通过选拔了对不对？

A：额、、、非常感谢你们来到我们的海选现场，也给我们带来了很多另类的表演，但是，很不幸地告诉你们、、、（电话响，接电话）你好，什么？！今天的面试现场只来了他们三个人，你们是怎么做宣传的！我的天啊！你们三个，通过面试了、、、CDE：我们终于成功了，我们可以成超级巨星了！

A：等等，可是我们需要四个演员啊，如今只有三个，怎么办？ CDE：他可以加入我们！B：我？我不行不行。

A：他们说的对，你看看你，长得玉树临风，风流倜傥，人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎！帅过刘德华，气死金城武，完胜谢霆锋，秒杀钟汉良，完全是男主角的最佳人选！

CDE：说的太对了，我们支持你！B：不行不行，我真的不行！

A：你确定？（抽出B的工资卡）还想不想要这个月的工资啦！B：导演导演，放轻松啦~这些都是毛毛雨啦~都听你的，都听你的，嘿嘿。。（一脸谄媚的笑）

A：温情电影《时间都去哪了》即将开机，请大家多多支持！面试结束了，三个奇葩演员，帅气的编剧和霸气的导演将会给我们带来什么样的精彩呢？

那一刻，他与她相遇，时光的笔尖流转，写下了世间最美的情诗。当爱情悄悄来临，能拥着你，成了我最大的幸福。我愿用一枚戒指，许下关于你未来永恒的承诺，亲爱的，嫁给我！（女儿出生，小时候）1+1=3，他们的爱情故事开始有了续集。（女儿青春期）当她拖着时间的尾巴快快长大，当没有硝烟的战争悄然打响，时间啊时间，你在哪里？岁月改变了鬓角的颜色，他守一座城，她开一扇门，等迷路的孩子回家。（女儿成年）时间哪也没去，它总是在哪里，陪她成长，伴他们变老，品那幸福酿的酒发出馥郁的香。父母不需要我们回报什么，只需要我们常回家看看就好，相守留住时间，可以留住幸福！

篇6：英语搞笑话剧剧本

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到“香国”。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

篇7：后羿射日英语搞笑剧本

(唱)C: it’s too late to burn your heart, it’s too late…..because I find that I have fallen in love with Houyi at the first sight.So, I’m sorry, you are so hot for me that I can’t get closer to you!Let’s break up!J: oh, my no!Do not leave me!Ok? C: I have said, it’s too late!J:(气愤的)I hate you!You are so cold.In return, I would fly to the sky and roast the world which make me disappointed and heart broken.Hahahaha……(此时拿出一只纸风车,代九个太阳,然后气愤的离去)C(不知所措)oh my god!What did I do!It is more dangerous than “The end of the century”(世界末日).Houyi~~~~~(扑到后羿怀里)Act 2 H:(绅士状)oh my baby, what’s wrong? My dear Change~~

C: it’s my J, He was very angry and said he would roast the whole world!H:(害怕地，退后几步)：really? Why was that? C: e….because I abandoned him…

H: I have told you many times, don’t be so half-hearted, look…ei….C: en, if you can solve this problem.I promise you that I would marry you!H:(两眼放光, 用手掐自己大腿)really?Am I dreaming? O, it’s true!Haha!Ok！（手指着她）stay here and right here waiting for me!I would back in 5 minutes.(但是伸出来的是四根手指)C: why are you so confident about yourself? H: I remember I have told you that I once fight with nine cows and two tigers at the same time!So I am armstrong!(秀肌肉).J is a piece of cake!Haha!Never eat your word!J!I’m coming!Act 3 H：Are you J? J: yes!It’s me!So what? Who are you? H: I’m your grandgrandpa!

J:haha, are you kidding ? mygrandgrandpa haven’t born!H: never say nonsense word!纳命来！So hot , so it is the reason that C leave you(头瞥向一边)（接下去动作戏，最后打死了J）Act 4 H：haha….O！C is waiting for me!（转身）o!my dear wife!When and where should we host our wedding？

C：let me think(心里盘算着)o, you see, I like moon since I was born.So we host our wedding at the moon.As for the date, how about 15 August when the moon is most beautiful? H: ha? Why is just the moon? I remember I haven’t told you that I fear of heights since I was born…… C: no way!Never charge with me!I have decided.H: what’s more I heard that Wugang live there…… I afraid……

篇8：英语搞笑短剧剧本-西游记

人物 ： 唐僧

八戒

悟空

白骨精原型女 白骨精变形1 白骨精变形2 白骨精原型男

女儿国国王

hope you guys enjoy it！

改编作者 杜宛芸 成医学子

唐: Wow…boys!This place looks beautiful.Where we are now? Does any one of you know something about it? 众徒弟们摇头，除了八戒在看书。

唐: 八戒, give me the map(不回头，懒洋洋的问)唐:八戒，Give the map to me!（严肃的问）

唐：哼!（唐生气地叫）pig，Give the map……..(转过身看到八戒在看书)唐:(很吃惊)wow！八戒，very good!I hardly see you study！.What kind of book are you reading? Is it about Chinese or English? 八戒依旧看书，不理睬。唐:(凑过去)let me have a look!八戒才注意，赶忙藏书。但为时已晚，唐一把抢过。发现是封面女郎很惹火，眼神立刻变得温柔，接过书开始看

唐：yo….xi…..(流口水，八戒看到，拿出卫生纸给唐僧擦，唐僧回过神来)唐:（转身训斥八戒）how many times have I told you？ You are not supposed to read books about beautiful girls!I will keep it for you until we finish the journey …..(唐僧将画册掖到衣服里)八戒:But…..,why? boss, why can‟t we think about girls? I just don‟t understand…

唐:（叹气）哎，how many times have I told you？,This is because…oh 悟空 dance to my song！

(开始唱歌，Jackson的dangeous，悟空伴舞)八戒:ok boss，I will listen to you！（无辜地表情）

唐:悟空,I am hungry.Go and get me some food…（四处看看）.where is 沙僧？, 悟空：he is feeding the horse.boss I„ll find some food and be back soon, 唐：ok….(悟空走了唐看见八戒还在这，正经地对八戒说)hey 八戒 I need to take a good rest.get out of here!give me some private space!（八戒走后唐僧就偷袭着自言自语到眉毛上抬 使坏样）：嘿嘿 its time to call my little honey king of the girl country 唐:hi..sweetie how are you doing？(不解释….)女:I am fine ,but I miss you very much，after you left, I just can not stop recalling the days when we were together.哼！you seldom give me a call。唐:oh darling….i am sorry.you know , these boys like to gossip about things like that.I can only call you when I am alone.But you know I love you from the bottom of my heart。oh damn it！…they are back!Honey I will call you the next time ok！（挂断电话 一下装的很正经）悟空: boss，who are you calling ? 唐:er(支支吾吾的)I was just having a chat with Budda.where is my food? 悟空:here!Ive found some delicious bananas!唐:banana，banana banana!How many times do I have to tell you ？ I am a monk, instead of a monkey!I need rice rice(加重语气)！don‟t you understand? Go and give some to your brothers ok

悟空：摸摸头 ok boss 低头很沮丧 拿着香蕉向八戒走去

唐僧拿着香蕉，从衣服里掏出画册，做到一边边吃边看，边擦嘴…..白骨精上场

白;Hahahaa…I know that any monster who eats

master tang will live forever.how lucky I am, now they are in my place.笑着想想 oh , i can pretend to be a poor old lady, so they will trust me.嘿嘿 I am really clever ……动感音乐响 白骨精1上场 和白骨精原形以舞蹈形式变换……双人舞完！。

白1:嘿嘿I look great!蹒跚的走过去

白1:hello, master.i have not eaten any food for days….can you spare some ? have mercy，may god bless you 唐：(瞄一眼，继续吃、看)what? Don‟t see I am starving too.get out of here, if you don‟t leave right now I will ask my money and pig to eat you 哼！白1：看看悟空和八戒 oh please don‟t do that I am leaving 蹒跚地离开 躲在一个离唐不远的地方。

悟空：走过来拿着香蕉 boss，do you need some more bananas？

（悟空看到美女画册，急忙凑上去看，师傅把画册上下左右移动，悟空随之移动，师傅发现了，开始说：）唐：, 悟空 ,you want to see it, dont you？ ,If you want to see it，you have to tell me that you want to see it, and I will give it to you ,let you see it but if you don‟t tell Me that you want to see it，how can I know that you want to see it？

。if you don‟t want to see it，you also have to tell me that you don‟t want to see it。then I wont let you see(悟空早已痛苦不堪，逃离此地)

唐：悟空！come back！哎。。（唐僧摇摇头,继续看书)白1:（远处偷看到画册）oh ….He is interested in girls 嘿嘿!变成了一个女的 音乐很慢幽 白1和白2 双人舞变换 说话一定要嗲

白2:（曼妙的走过来，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不转头边吃边看书：leave me alone.白2再次碰一下，唐僧依然不转头：I said leave me alone！这时，白2开口说话）

白2:hi….gentleman!唐:（转头）wow…hi sexy lady!（扔掉画册，背景音乐响起，only you，神情对视，过会儿）come here ,do you want some food？take some bananes。i am tang seng, you can call me Tanny 白2:oh Tanny…you are so friendly ,thanks for your banana。。I just got lost，and don‟t know where to go now！can you help me？

唐:yes of course, I will try my best to help you，you don‟t worry！

八戒：朝唐僧看看：wow，what a beautiful girl！手拍拍悟空 look look 悟空:看到后 oh my god！our boss is in danger now！马上朝白2冲过去

悟空：“monster，I will kill you！“吓到白2 躲到唐的后面

唐:what are you doing？ monkey，don‟t be rude!this beautiful lady is my new friend！

悟空:boss, this is a monster，in order to get close to you。,she has changed herself into a charming girl，she will eat you！唐:bullshit!you must be fed up with this trip to the west…..（悟空执意要打，唐僧苦劝不听）

唐：I think，you，little monkey need to be punished 悟空：（赶忙说）oh ,no , boss, please

唐:(叹气)哎唱着 it is so late to apologise。。。!说 Money，you deserve what you will suffer(摆姿势，要念咒语)(杰克逊的beat it，，just beat it，beat it，will you listen to me ？will you listen to me ？will you listen to me？)悟空抱头大叫：“oh boss enough enough。。please stop stop I will listen to you“

八戒过来求情 ：“boss he cant stand it now看着悟空痛苦样，哦米拖佛 poor money！„

唐停止念咒 说：“ok、monkey, remember don‟t make such stupid mistakes again，you can go now „悟空抱着很痛的头摇摇晃晃的离开。

唐僧看着八戒：“八戒 you also have to leave here，your ugly pig face will make my friend scared，go go go！” 八戒不情愿地离开 白2:hahaha….，白2白原形一起双人舞变换成白原形 音乐很 恐怖

白原：idiot！.look who I am（变回原样，唐僧大喊救命）i will eat you….唐：啊！悟空 悟空 八戒

come back come back 白原：哈哈哈 shut up！no one can save you now！hahahahahha 仰天大笑唐掏偷偷出电话：“hi honey，I am in danger now，come and save me‟！be quick！„

白原看到将电话拿过扔掉 白原：‘哼，‟正要杀唐 做出姿势 女:“stop！白原转过头来 唐”oh darling you just come at the right time，thank god！“

女：er，I didn‟t tell you that I have bought a new airplane with a satellite map，so I can find you easily！cool huh？ 女:monster.i will finish you（举起魔杖，指着白原）

白原:看着很吃惊you are the king of the girl country？ it must have been hundreds of years since the last time when we were together

女：I am confused。who are you ？

白原:带上帽子变成一个男子，新白娘子传奇音乐响

白原唱者：“oh 娘子，啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！西湖美景三月天哟，春雨如酒柳如烟勒“

女：”oh 相公，十年修得共船渡，百年修得共枕眠“

白原和女合唱：若是千呀年呀有缘，白首同心在眼前。啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦。。！白首同心在眼前”，女：oh my darling I miss you all the time，tears fall down everytime when I think of you。低声哭泣着。

白原：哎，边给女擦眼泪 honey，forgive me，when we were apart last time，on my way home，god caught me and I was sent to prison by him、。a few days ago I just came out secretly！

女: 哼，not all the monsters are evil，god should not have treated you like that。

白原：oh honey don‟t be sad now I am back，we can live together forever，right？

女：”great，let‟s go back to my country，this way please，my airplane is there！两人手拉手向飞机走去！留下唐僧一人。

唐自言自语；“哎，my queen left me，how can she cheat me and break my young heart？

八戒赶过来看见唐很悲伤 说“boss，what happened？ 唐：“nothing ,I just miss my mother ok！„

八戒：oh boss don‟t be sad。When you miss her，you can call her and ask her to be online！then you can see her through the Internet。I think qq is a good choice!唐：“ok 八戒，lets go、where are your brothers ？

八戒：boss they are waiting for us，we should continue our journey now。。唐”ok。。音乐西游记