搞笑英语剧本带翻译

第一篇：搞笑英语剧本带翻译

白雪公主英语话剧本(带中文翻译)分析解析

Snow White and Seven Dwarves

白雪公主与七个小矮人

英汉对照剧本

Scene One Cast of Characters：

出场人物列表： Queen 皇后 Snow White 白雪公主 Magic mirror 魔镜Hunter 猎人

----music 1 Voice-over: Long time ago, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The king married another queen. The stepmother didn’t like her very much. She made Snow White do the housework all day and all night.

旁白：很久很久以前,有个皇后。她有一个美丽的女儿,名叫白雪公主。孩子出生后不久,女王死了。国王又娶了一位女王。可继母特别不喜欢她。她让白雪公主整天整夜地做家务。

----白雪出场 ( 扫地,做清洁.) Snow White: My name is Snow White. I’m a beautiful princess. Once I had a happy family (smiling), but my mother died after I was born (feeling sad). I miss my mother so much. Where is my mother? Where is my mother? (looking around) 白雪公主：我的名字是白雪公主，我是个美丽的公主，我曾经有一个幸福的家庭(开心)，但我妈妈在我出生后就去世了(感到难过)，我很想念我妈妈。我的妈妈在哪里?我的妈妈在哪里?(四处张望)

----music 2 Queen: I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful, you see (turning around). I believe I’m

2 the most beautiful woman in the world. If anyone dares to be more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her (clenching the teeth in great anger). I have a magic mirror. It’ll tell me anything I want to know. Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 王后：我是新来的女王。你瞧啊，我很美 (转一圈)。我相信我是世界上最美丽的女人。如果有人比我漂亮,我就杀了她 (咬牙切齿)。我有一种神奇的镜子。它会告诉我任何我想知道的事情。现在,镜子,镜子,到这里来!

Magic mirror: Here I am. I’m coming. What do you want to know? 魔镜：我在这儿呢，我来了。你想知道些什么?

Queen：Magic mirror on the wall. Who is fairest one of all? 皇后：墙上的魔镜啊。谁是这世界上最漂亮的女人?

Magic mirror: You are beautiful, but there is a young lady, I see. Her lips are as red as the rose; her hair is as black as ebony; her skin is as white as snow. She is much more beautiful than you. 魔镜：您很美，但有一个年轻的女孩。她的嘴唇像玫瑰花一样红，她的头发像乌木一样黑，她的皮肤像雪一样白。她比你更美丽。

Queen：She is much more beautiful than me? Who is she? Tell me quickly (angry). 皇后：她比我漂亮得多吗?她是谁?快点告诉我 (很生气的)。

Magic mirror: She is Snow White. 魔镜：她是白雪公主。

Queen：Snow White? No, I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. Oh, hunter,

3 come here, come here! 皇后：白雪公主?不，我是这世界上最美丽的女人。哦，猎人，过来，过来!

Hunter: Yes, your Majesty. I’m coming (coming up to the queen). 猎人：皇后陛下，我来了(走到皇后面前)。

Queen：Hunter! Take Snow White far away to a place where she can pick some wildflowers (野花), and kill her! 皇后：猎人!把白雪公主带到一个偏远的地方，让她采些野花，然后杀了她!

Hunter: But she is the princess. … 猎人：但她是公主。…

Queen：Do what I have told you! That’s the order! And then put her heart in this box and bring it to me (holding a box). I don’t want to see her again! 皇后：按我说的去做!这是命令!然后把她的心装进这个盒子里带给我。我不想再见到她!(居高临下的)

Hunter: Yes! Your Majesty. 猎人：遵命，皇后陛下。

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Scene Two Cast of Characters：

出场人物列表： Snow White

白雪公主

Hunter

猎人

----music 3

Snow White: One flower, two flowers, three flowers…. How beautiful those flowers are! ( picking flowers happily) 白雪公主：两朵花，一朵花，三朵花… 这些花多么美丽呀!(高兴的采花)

Hunter: Oh! My God! She is so lovely and pretty! I can’t kill her! I can’t do it! (pulling his dagger 匕首slowly and saying hesitately犹豫的) 猎人：哦!我的天啊!她是如此的可爱漂亮!我不能杀了她!我不能这么做!(边慢慢的拔出匕首，边犹豫地说道)

Snow White: What are you doing? What’s the matter? Why do you kill me? (crying loudly after seeing the hunter)

白雪公主：你在做什么?发生了什么事?你为什么要杀了我呢?(看见猎人后大声哭叫)

Hunter: I’m sorry. Someone wants me to kill you. 猎人：我很抱歉。有人要我杀了你。

Snow White: But who? 白雪公主：但是谁呢?

5 Hunter: The queen. 猎人：是皇后。

Snow White: Why? 白雪公主：为什么呢?

Hunter: Because you are more beautiful than her. 猎人：因为你比她漂亮。

Snow White: My dear hunter, don’t kill me. I will run far away and never come back again. 白雪公主：我亲爱的猎人，不要杀了我。我会跑得远远的，不会再回来。

Hunter: Ok. Run away, the poor child. 猎人：好吧。跑了,可怜的孩子。

Snow White: Thank you, my dear hunter. 白雪公主：谢谢你，我亲爱的猎人。

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Scene Three Cast of Characters：

出场人物列表： Snow White

白雪公主 Seven dwarves:

七个小矮人: Doc

老学究 Happy

开心果 Sneezy

喷嚏精 Bashful

害羞鬼 Grumpy

老顽固 Sleepy

瞌睡虫 Dopey

糊涂蛋

Voice-over：At this time, a baby bear was running by. The hunter shot it and took the heart to the queen. Snow White ran into the wild forest until it was almost evening. She saw a little house. 旁白：在这个时候，猎人杀了一只向他跑去的小熊，把它的心交给了皇后。白雪公主跑进了大森林，晚上的时候，她看到了一间小房子。

Snow White: Oh, my God! The queen can’t find me now, I think. How tired I am! (yawning) Ah, there is a house ( knocking at the door and then walking in). There are seven small beds. They must be the beds of seven children. Oh, I really want to sleep! 白雪公主：哦，我的上帝!我想，现在皇后找不到我了。我好累!(打了个哈欠)噢，这儿有一座小房子(敲门然后走进去)。这儿有七张小床。它们一定是七个孩子的床。噢，我想睡觉了!

Voice-over：When it was dark, the owners of the house came back. They were seven

7 dwarves. They were looking for gold in mountains. 旁白：傍晚的时候,房子的主人回来了。他们是七个小矮人。他们正在山里寻找黄金。

①Doc: Look, the lamp in our house is on! 老学究：看，我们的房子里亮着灯呢!

②Happy: Who is it? 开心果：会是谁呢?

③Sneezy: Maybe it’s the ghost! 喷嚏精：也许是鬼!

④Sleepy: Let’s go into our house quietly. 瞌睡虫：我们轻声细语的到屋子里去

⑤Bashful: Oh, someone has cleaned our house. 害羞鬼：噢,有人已经打扫了我们的房子

⑥Grumpy: Maybe it’s the witch. 老顽固：也许这是女巫。

⑦Dopey lightened Snow White’s face with a caddle . ①~⑦ all shouted in shock. 糊涂蛋用蜡烛照了照白雪公主的脸，七个小矮人都惊呼起来。

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①Doc: What a lovely child! 老学究: 多么可爱的孩子!

②Happy: How beautiful she is! 开心果：她太美了!

③Sneezy: Who is she? 喷嚏精：她是谁?

④Sleepy: Don’t wake her up. 瞌睡虫：别叫醒她。

⑤Bashful: Why is she coming here? 害羞鬼：为什么她要到这里来呢?

⑥Grumpy: Kill her. 老顽固：杀了她

Snow White: What a sound sleep! (Waking up and stretching her arms) Oh, who are you? Oh, I know. You are seven dwarves. 白雪公主：睡得真香呀!咦，你们是谁?哦，我知道了，你们是7个小矮人。

Seven dwarves: Yes, but why are you in our house? (saying together) 七个小矮人：是的，但是你为什么在我们的房子里?

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Snow White: The queen wants to kill me, so I ran into your house. Don’t drive me away. Let me stay with you. 白雪公主：皇后想杀了我，所以我跑到你们这儿来了。不要赶我走。让我和你们在一起。

①Doc: If you look after our house. 老学究：如果你帮我们打扫房子 ②Happy: If you cooking for us. 开心果：如果你为我们做饭。

③Sneezy: If you make the beds for us. 喷嚏精：如果你为我们铺床。

④Sleepy: If you do some washing, you can stay with us. 瞌睡虫：如果你帮我们洗衣服，你可以和我们呆在一起。

⑤Bashful: But you must be careful. 害羞鬼：但是你一定要小心。

⑥Grumpy: Don’t go out. Don’t let anyone come in. Otherwise, your stepmother will find you and kill you. 老顽固：别出去。也不要让任何人进来。否则你的继母会发现你并置你于死地的。

Snow White: I know. I know. Thank you.

10 白雪：我知道。我知道。谢谢你们。

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Scene Four Cast of Characters：

出场人物列表： Queen 皇后 Magic mirror 魔镜 Snow White

白雪公主 Seven dwarves:

七个小矮人: Doc

老学究 Happy

开心果 Sneezy

喷嚏精 Bashful

害羞鬼 Grumpy

老顽固 Sleepy

瞌睡虫 Dopey

糊涂蛋 Prince

王子 Voice-over：From then on, Snow White stayed with the dwarves. In the palace, after the bad queen ate the heart, she took out the mirror and asked again. 旁白：从那以后，白雪公主就和矮人们住在一起了。在宫殿里，坏王后吃了心之后，取出镜子又问道。

Queen: Magic mirror on the wall, who is fairest one of all? 皇后：墙上的魔镜啊。谁是这世界上最漂亮的女人?

Magic mirror: You are beautiful, but Snow White is still alive. She lives with the seven dwarves. No one is more beautiful than her. 魔镜：你很美，但是白雪公主还活着。她和七个小矮人生活在一起。没有人比她更美丽。

12 Queen: What? Snow White is not dead? (very angry) Ha-ha, I got a good idea. 皇后：什么?白雪公主没有死?(非常生气)哈哈，我想到了一个好主意。

Voice-over：The queen made a poisonous apple and dressed herself like an old woman. She came to the house. 旁白：皇后做了一个有毒的苹果，把自己打扮成一位老妇人。她来到房子前。

Queen: Good things to sell! Pretty apples to sell! Cheap! Very cheap! 皇后：卖好东西喽!卖漂亮的苹果喽!便宜!很便宜!

Snow White: Hi, good day, grandma. 白雪公主：嗨，你好，老奶奶。

Queen: Apples. Very delicious apples! You can have a taste. This one, please! 皇后：苹果。非常美味的苹果!你可以先尝一个。这个吧。

Snow White: OK! Thank you! (Having a bite and falling down) 白雪公主：好吧!谢谢你!(咬了一口便倒下了)

Queen: Hahaha… Now I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. 皇后：哈哈哈…现在我界上最美丽的。

Voice-over: When the seven dwarves came back, they were greatly surprised to see Snow White dead 旁白：当七个小矮人工作回来，看到白雪公主死了，他们都惊呆了。

13 Seven dwarves：What’s the matter? 七个矮人：发生了什么事?

Doc: Snow White is dead. 老学究：白雪公主死了。

Seven dwarves：Oh, my God! Who did this? It must be the bad queen (crying and putting some flowers on her body).

七个矮人：哦，我的上帝!这是谁干的?一定是坏王后干的。(哭着拣一些花放在白雪公主身上)

Voice-over: Although Snow White had been dead for a long time, she looked as if she was still alive. Her skin is as white as snow; her lips are as red as the rose; her hair is as black as ebony. One day, a prince happened to came to the seven dwarves’ house. As soon as he saw Snow White, he fell in love with her.

旁白：虽然白雪公主已经死了很长时间，她看上去好像还活着。她的皮肤像雪一样白，嘴唇像玫瑰花一样红，头发像乌木一样黑。有一天，有一个王子忽然来到七个小矮人的房门前。当他看到白雪公主时，他爱上了她。

Prince：Please, let me have a look at Snow White. I love her. I want to bring her home and let her be my wife. 王子：请让我看看白雪公主。我爱她。我要带她回家并让她做我的妻子。

Seven dwarves：Ok! Take Snow White with you. Be kind to her, please. 七个矮人：好吧!把白雪公主带走吧。请善待她,

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Prince：Yes, I will. I will love her forever! (kissing her on her hand) 王子：好，我会的。我会永远爱她!(吻白雪手)

Voice-over: As soon as the prince kissed Snow White, Snow White came to life 旁白：王子吻了白雪公主后，她活过来了。

Snow White: Oh, my god! Where am I? What happened? 白雪公主：哦，我的上帝!我在哪里?发生了什么事?

Prince: You are with me, my dear. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. Please be my queen, will you? 王子：你和我在一起，亲爱的。我爱你。我爱你，胜过世界上的一切。请当我的王后，好吗?

Snow White: Yes, I will, my dear prince! 白雪公主：我愿意，我亲爱的王子!

Seven dwarves：Oh, congratulations! Congratulations! 七个矮人：哦!祝贺你!祝贺你!

Snow White: Good Bye! 白雪公主：再见了!

Seven dwarves：Bye-bye! May you happy forever! 七个矮人：再见了!愿你永远开心!

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Snow White and the prince: Thank you. Good Bye. See you later! 白雪公主和王子：谢谢你。再见了!

----music 4 Voice-over: The prince took Snow White to his palace. Their wedding was held two days later. 旁白：王子把白雪公主带回他的皇宫。两天后他们举行了婚礼。 (谢幕)

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第二篇：英语搞笑话剧剧本

英语搞笑话剧剧本-A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。

有一天她来到"香国" 。她发现，人人都有双香脚。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。

有一位公主，她总是失眠。虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。

最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。 人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.

There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”. Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep. The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter. And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

SCENE I (One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book) Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. Witch: (screaming and laughing and dancing)I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away! (Flying to the Fragrance country)

Witch: (Crying) I hate my feet! I hate my feet! (in a low voice) Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet. (Searching) Oh. What a handsome boy. (Come closer and take a deep breath) Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair! (Angrily) Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! (Doing magic and laughing loudly) Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. (Fly away)

Prince: (Asleep and dreaming) Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess. Prince: (Wake up!) Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell!! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? (Hold on to his head.)(Run away) I can’t believe it!

SCENE II (The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.) Prince: Oh~ there are many crows. Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here. Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~! (Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.) Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers. Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air.

Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please. Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad. (Prince continues to walk.) Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back. (Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.) Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes. Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense.

Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him. Strangers: Just get lost! Dirty man! Prince: Oh I’m sorry. I’m not a dirty man. My feet are really disgusting. (Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.

Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter. Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures… (In the palace.) Queen: I am the queen! King: Of course I am the king! Queen: You never care about your daughter!!! King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep! King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.) King: Oh~my dear, just take them all. Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes! Princess: (Take medicine) I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep! (Try another method.) King: Hey my dear! Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep. Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep ….. (Try a third method.) Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice. Maybe she can make our daughter sleep. King: Yes yes! (Open the door) Is she the one? (See Ada) Queen: Oh~no! King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course! Please start singing! Rita: I am a magic singer. (Clean the throat.) Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep. Baby sleep. Baby hurry to sleep. Everybody sing with me…. Princess: Shut up! Get out of here!! King: I think these methods are not good ideas. We’ll think of better ideas. Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can….. King: You can say that again. Queen: Let’s get ready.

(King and queen are preparing …)

Princess: Daddy! Mommy! It’s time to sleep! Don’t forget to take medicine. (King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.) King: Oh, no! It didn’t work. Maybe we should get help from people.

Queen: OK! (Point to Ada) You just do it. Go out on the streets and find some help.

SCENE IV (Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people. Some people try to make the princess sleep.) Prince: (To himself.) A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work! I think I can make the princess sleep! Can I try? King & Queen: Yes! It’s our pleasure. Please try.

Prince: Thank you! (Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.) Sorry! My dear princess! Princess: Oh! Your feet smell so awful. I can’t breathe and I want to sleep. King & Queen: Oh no! My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us! (King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.) King: She’s still breathing. She just fell asleep. (Queen hugs the Princess.) Queen: Thank you! Oh, thank God! My dear baby finally fell asleep. King: (To the prince.) Oh! Thank you! We are very lucky to meet you. Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power!! Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter. King: Yes! This is a happy ending. Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

第三篇：英语搞笑小品剧本1

Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)

Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景

Scene1(At Salesman’s home)

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……

Scene2(At the school gate)

N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. (Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩)

(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……

M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!

A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!

M: Let’s ask him.

A: OK!

C: Don’t buy me!(非常焦急)

M&A: Why?

C: I’m dirty!

M: No, you look nice!

C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)

S: Candies! Candies!(引诱两个女孩)

M&A: How much are they?

S: Do you have money?(轻蔑)

M&A: Money?(对视)

M:Oh, I’ve no money!(失落之极)

A: Me too.

S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)

M: What can we do now?

A: Let’s ask dad for money.

D: Here you are !( 给钱)

M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场)

N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.

(孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛)

M: Aiyo!……(两人躬着背进场)

A: …….

D: What’s wrong?

M: I’ve a stomachache!

A: Me too!

D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?

M: Yes. We had some candies just now.

A: I had some too!

D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!(生气)

M: But they look nice!

A: And tastes good!

M&A: Aiyo……

D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!

M&A: OK.

Scene 4: (At the school gate)

N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.

(正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)

P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!

C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)

S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…

C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!

M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…(指着小贩)

D: He?

(警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩)

P: What’s the matter with them?

D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.

S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……

P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.(非常严厉)

S: OK. I know. (羞愧)

C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.

Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.

D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?

M&A: OK, dad!

P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.

D: OK, Let’s go.

N(出场): A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

第四篇：英语-西游记英文搞笑剧本

孙悟空 Monkey ( M for short ) 白骨精 Jenny White ( J for short ) 唐僧 Tang Seng ( T for short ) 黄袍怪 Yellow ( Y for short ) 沙僧 Sha Seng ( S for short ) 猪八戒 Pig ( P for short ) Act 1 (J 照着镜子上台)

(这时，电话铃响了起来，J不耐烦地接过听筒，于是，一个更另她心烦的声音就在电话那头响起。)

Y: Hello! It’s me. J: I know it’s you. You call me every day ，it has 400 years 。 Y: And today, I’ll ask the same question again.Will you marry me? (J对这位契而不舍的追求者已厌烦到了极点。) J: You wish ! I get one more pimple. How bad! Y: Ah! I just call to tell you the meat of Tang Seng can make you beautiful and Tang Seng will come to our place.We can go and catch him together. J: ok ,ok,. I will have a rest.(不待Y说完，J就没好气地挂断了电话。) Y;Refuse me again .I will never give up.(说罢，好不威风的下台去了) J: How nasty he is! ( 她想了想，说 ) But Tang Seng is really good for me.(拿起一副望远镜。J便观察起T的行踪来。) J: ( 欢喜万分 ) Ah-ha,

(M握着金箍棒在前面探路,打电话给T) M：Hi,master. T; monkey,where are we ? M; DaHuangZheng,JieShouShi M; Ok，we are coming. (P在前面摇摆走着，T随后，可怜S提着许多行李上台) M;master，please(指着一休息地方)

(J拿起一纸筒，把耳朵凑上去偷听T师徒四人谈话)

T: Monkey! You are great, thank you very much ,I am happy to be your teacher and...... (P懒洋洋地突然打断 ) P: Sir! I’m so hungry. T: I’m hungry too. Monkey, go and buy some food。Don’t go to LanZhouNiurouMianGuan and LiuYiFanDian, just go to ChangQingFanDian.It is cheap。

(M点头答应，欲要离去)

T; monkey,just go to changqingfandian. M; yes sir.( 欲要离去) T; monkey,wash your box. M; ok.ok( 欲要离去) T; monkey,be careful M; thank you sir( 欲要离去) T; monkey....(M不耐烦打断) M;you,go away(飞奔而去)

(剩余师徒三人拿出经书念起三字经，一会就睡着了。舞台另一头的J听了不禁眉开眼笑。) J: It’s a good time. (J迅速地打扮好，挎着篮子走到了T师徒的面前。P闻着香味醒了，并叫醒师傅) P: Ah, a beautiful girl. Hello! What’s in your basket? It smells nice! J: Some food for my son.《husband》- P: I’m hungry. Can I have some?

(心急的P伸手去拿篮子里的东西，J假装惊慌地护住了篮子。) T: Pig! be polite. J: You are very kind. I can give you some food. T: ( 双手合十 )Good girl。

M: Monster! (T听到Monster一词立刻吓得晕倒在S怀中。S惊恐万分) S;master master,Pig Pig, come here M: No matter how big you are, I’ll kill you. J: How nasty you are! M: Monster! Take my stick! (M举起金箍棒就要向J的头顶击下。就在这千钧一发之际，P忽然扑上去将M拦腰抱住) P: Beauty, run! Run run.

(T 逃过一劫，对各位徒弟尤其是M的拼死保护感动之至，对S说;monkey is great。情不自禁地唱起了Only You。其结果，三个土地全头痛欲裂，大吐特吐。) (终于，T唱完了)

T: ( 清清嗓子 ) Monkey, go and buy the lunch. I’m very hungry. M: Yes，master，Just stay here。(边说边画圈 )。Goodbye sir. (M离开后，T等就在圈内又念起三字经，不一会打起瞌睡来，P更是鼾声震天。) (J见M走了，便又来打T的主意。她走了两步，踩到了M画的圈。) J: Ouch。

(J知道M的厉害，不敢轻举妄动。但T近在眼前，她实在不甘心放弃。她想了想，忽地计上心头，变出一盒KFC。 J: Come, come Come。。。

(T等仿佛着了魔似的，梦游般循着KFC的香气向圈子外走。J终于如愿地把他们引出来了。就在J的手向T伸去的时候，M赶回来了，再次将J当场抓获。) M: You again! J: You 。you. How nasty you are! M: Now you cannot run! (T 刚刚清醒，看到厮杀场面，想到自己又一次有惊无险，感叹;monkey is really great。不仅又唱起了Only You。M不堪忍受此歌声，抓着J的手也放松了。J乘机溜走了。) (T唱罢，众人终于松了口气。P忽然发现M正望着J远去的方向发愣，伸手在M的眼前晃了晃，M竟然没有反应。)

P: ( 调侃地 ) Ah, you like that beautiful girl. (M 回过神来，发现自己的失态，给了P一拳。) T: Monkey, I know that woman is nice, but you can’t love her. loving girls needs time and money. you don’t have much time and much money. M: I won’t. T: That’s fine. Everybody ,are you reday? (列队齐声)：Yes sir。 (音乐响起——《Nobody》) (转身跳起了nobody)

第五篇：英语搞笑短剧剧本-西游记

搞笑英语话剧之西游记篇

人物 ： 唐僧

八戒

悟空

白骨精原型女 白骨精变形1 白骨精变形2 白骨精原型男

女儿国国王

hope you guys enjoy it!

改编作者 杜宛芸 成医学子

唐: Wow…boys! This place looks beautiful. Where we are now? Does any one of you know something about it? 众徒弟们摇头，除了八戒在看书。

唐: 八戒, give me the map(不回头，懒洋洋的问) 唐:八戒， Give the map to me!(严肃的问)

唐：哼 !(唐生气地叫)pig ，Give the map……..(转过身看到八戒在看书) 唐:(很吃惊) wow!八戒，very good ! I hardly see you study! . What kind of book are you reading? Is it about Chinese or English? 八戒依旧看书，不理睬。 唐:(凑过去)let me have a look ! 八戒才注意，赶忙藏书。但为时已晚，唐一把抢过。发现是封面女郎很惹火，眼神立刻变得温柔，接过书开始看

唐：yo….xi…..(流口水，八戒看到，拿出卫生纸给唐僧擦，唐僧回过神来) 唐:(转身训斥八戒)how many times have I told you? You are not supposed to read books about beautiful girls! I will keep it for you until we finish the journey …..(唐僧将画册掖到衣服里) 八戒:But…..,why? boss, why can‟t we think about girls? I just don‟t understand…

唐:(叹气)哎，how many times have I told you?

,This is because…oh 悟空 dance to my song !

(开始唱歌，Jackson的dangeous，悟空伴舞) 八戒:ok boss， I will listen to you!(无辜地表情)

唐:悟空,I am hungry.Go and get me some food…(四处看看).where is 沙僧?, 悟空：he is feeding the horse . boss I„ll find some food and be back soon, 唐：ok….(悟空走了唐看见八戒还在这，正经地对八戒说) hey 八戒 I need to take a good rest . get out of here !give me some private space! (八戒走后唐僧就偷袭着自言自语到眉毛上抬 使坏样)：嘿嘿 its time to call my little honey king of the girl country 唐:hi..sweetie how are you doing?(不解释….) 女:I am fine ,but I miss you very much ，after you left, I just can not stop recalling the days when we were together. 哼! you seldom give me a call。 唐:oh darling….i am sorry. you know , these boys like to gossip about things like that. I can only call you when I am alone. But you know I love you from the bottom of my heart 。oh damn it !…they are back! Honey I will call you the next time ok !(挂断电话 一下装的很正经) 悟空: boss ， who are you calling ? 唐:er (支支吾吾的)I was just having a chat with Budda. where is my food? 悟空:here! Ive found some delicious bananas! 唐:banana，banana banana ! How many times do I have to tell you ? I am a monk, instead of a monkey! I need rice rice(加重语气)!don‟t you understand? Go and give some to your brothers ok

悟空：摸摸头 ok boss 低头很沮丧 拿着香蕉向八戒走去

唐僧拿着香蕉，从衣服里掏出画册，做到一边边吃边看，边擦嘴….. 白骨精上场

白;Hahahaa…I know that any monster who eats

master tang will live forever. how lucky I am, now they are in my place.笑着想想 oh , i can pretend to be a poor old lady, so they will trust me. 嘿嘿 I am really clever ……动感音乐响 白骨精1上场 和白骨精原形以舞蹈形式变换……双人舞完 ! 。

白1:嘿嘿I look great! 蹒跚的走过去

白1:hello, master.i have not eaten any food for days….can you spare some ? have mercy，

may god bless you 唐：(瞄一眼，继续吃、看)what? Don‟t see I am starving too .get out of here, if you don‟t leave right now I will ask my money and pig to eat you 哼! 白1：看看悟空和八戒 oh please don‟t do that I am leaving 蹒跚地离开 躲在一个离唐不远的地方。

悟空：走过来拿着香蕉 boss ，do you need some more bananas?

(悟空看到美女画册，急忙凑上去看，师傅把画册上下左右移动，悟空随之移动，师傅发现了，开始说：) 唐：, 悟空 ,you want to see it, dont you? ,If you want to see it，

you have to tell me that you want to see it, and I will give it to you ,let you see it but if you don‟t tell Me that you want to see it ， how can I know that you want to see it?

。if you don‟t want to see it ，you also have to tell me that you don‟t want to see it 。then I wont let you see (悟空早已痛苦不堪，逃离此地)

唐：悟空!come back! 哎。。。(唐僧摇摇头,继续看书) 白1:(远处偷看到画册)oh …. He is interested in girls 嘿嘿 ! 变成了一个女的 音乐很慢幽 白1和白2 双人舞变换 说话一定要嗲

白2:(曼妙的走过来，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不转头边吃边看书：leave me alone. 白2再次碰一下，唐僧依然不转头：I said leave me alone!这时，白2开口说话)

白2:hi…. gentleman! 唐:(转头)wow…hi sexy lady!(扔掉画册，背景音乐响起，only you，神情对视，过会儿)come here ,do you want some food?take some bananes。 i am tang seng, you can call me Tanny 白2:oh Tanny…you are so friendly ,thanks for your banana。。。I just got lost ，and don‟t know where to go now!can you help me?

唐:yes of course, I will try my best to help you， you don‟t worry!

八戒：朝唐僧看看：wow ，what a beautiful girl !手拍拍悟空 look look 悟空:看到后 oh my god !our boss is in danger now! 马上朝白2冲过去

悟空：“monster，I will kill you!“吓到白2 躲到唐的后面

唐:what are you doing? monkey， don‟t be rude! this beautiful lady is my new friend!

悟空:boss, this is a monster， in order to get close to you。,she has changed herself into a charming girl ，she will eat you ! 唐:bullshit! you must be fed up with this trip to the west….. (悟空执意要打，唐僧苦劝不听)

唐：I think ， you， little monkey need to be punished 悟空：(赶忙说)oh ,no , boss, please

唐:(叹气)哎唱着 it is so late to apologise。。。。。! 说 Money ， you deserve what you will suffer(摆姿势，要念咒语) ( 杰克逊的beat it ，，，，just beat it， beat it ，will you listen to me ?will you listen to me ?will you listen to me? ) 悟空抱头大叫：“oh boss enough enough。。。please stop stop I will listen to you“

八戒过来求情 ：“boss he cant stand it now看着悟空痛苦样，哦米拖佛 poor money!„

唐停止念咒 说：“ok、monkey, remember don‟t make such stupid mistakes again，you can go now „悟空抱着很痛的头摇摇晃晃的离开。

唐僧看着八戒：“八戒 you also have to leave here ，your ugly pig face will make my friend scared，go go go !” 八戒不情愿地离开 白2:hahaha….，白2白原形一起双人舞变换成白原形 音乐很 恐怖

白原：idiot! .look who I am (变回原样，唐僧大喊救命)i will eat you….

唐：啊 ! 悟空 悟空 八戒

come back come back 白原：哈哈哈 shut up ! no one can save you now!hahahahahha 仰天大笑唐掏偷偷出电话：“hi honey，I am in danger now，come and save me‟ !be quick!„

白原看到将电话拿过扔掉 白原：‘哼，‟正要杀唐 做出姿势 女:“stop !白原转过头来 唐”oh darling you just come at the right time ， thank god!“

女：er ，I didn‟t tell you that I have bought a new airplane with a satellite map， so I can find you easily !cool huh? 女:monster.i will finish you(举起魔杖，指着白原)

白原:看着很吃惊you are the king of the girl country? it must have been hundreds of years since the last time when we were together

女：I am confused 。who are you ?

白原:带上帽子变成一个男子 ，新白娘子传奇音乐响

白原唱者：“oh 娘子 ，啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 !西湖美景三月天哟，春雨如酒柳如烟勒“

女：”oh 相公，十年修得共船渡，百年修得共枕眠“

白原和女合唱：若是千呀年呀有缘，白首同心在眼前。啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦。。。!白首同心在眼前”，

女：oh my darling I miss you all the time ，tears fall down everytime when I think of you 。低声哭泣着。。

白原：哎，边给女擦眼泪 honey，

forgive me ，when we were apart last time ，on my way home ，god caught me and I was sent to prison by him、

。a few days ago I just came out secretly!

女: 哼，not all the monsters are evil，god should not have treated you like that。

白原：oh honey don‟t be sad now I am back ，we can live together forever ，right?

女：”great ， let‟s go back to my country ，this way please ， my airplane is there ! 两人手拉手向飞机走去!留下唐僧一人。。

唐自言自语;“哎 ，my queen left me ， how can she cheat me and break my young heart?

八戒赶过来看见唐很悲伤 说“boss， what happened? 唐：“nothing ,I just miss my mother ok !„

八戒：oh boss don‟t be sad。When you miss her， you can call her and ask her to be online !then you can see her through the Internet。I think qq is a good choice ! 唐：“ok 八戒，lets go、where are your brothers ?

八戒：boss they are waiting for us， we should continue our journey now 。。。 唐”ok。。。音乐西游记

敢问路在何方 路在脚下、、、